Those icky nasty nauseating humiliating feelings

February 2004, the day after Valentine's day, would become forever etched in my mind. I lost my fourth child. I left my husband. I bought my own vehicle. Above all, it was the day I felt emotions I did not know I was capable of. To say it was horrible would be an understatement. My life was crashing down and falling fast, and I only knew I needed to do something drastic or I would lose all control of myself.
I found out I had been an unaware participant in voyeuristic photography & videography. People unknown to me knew what I looked like. I had been betrayed. humiliated. obliterated. crushed. horrified. nauseated. Yet, I was still aware enough to keep breathing...... and walking. I didn't know, and yet I did, that I was about to embark on the hardest walk of my life.